Does She Like Me?

Reader matter:

i have already been pals using this lady for a while. She left the woman boyfriend. We’ve been texting a large amount – like 200 messages weekly. I keep acquiring combined signals from this lady, and that I really like their. Must I do it now? But I don’t need ruin the friendship often. We in addition hang out, and I think she searches for myself inside halls.

-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)

Specialist’s Solution:

Hi, Ivan. Thank you for trusting all of us with this particular important personal issue.

There are a lot of opportunities to describe what are you doing here, but allow me to provide my personal “take.” First and foremost, you state she actually is delivering mixed signals, which most likely implies this woman is baffled and never certain of just what actually she wishes.

She could still have feelings or expectations your commitment she simply remaining, or she might be waiting for you to produce an action. She can still be in the recovery process, and she might not be ready to be seen publicly with another man but.

Texting may be the woman means of trying and linking nowadays while she completes mentally disconnecting from the woman ex. She are often puzzled if her friendship for you personally occasionally seems wants its developing into something larger, but she’s uncertain if you “like” like the lady.

As for you, Ivan, you’re in a rather precarious place at this time. She’s on rebound and needs psychological service. She trusts you and feels better whenever she offers some texts or hangs on with you. She looks for you in places because she loves you, in one single way or another, that is certainly where you need to be careful. If you put the friendship 1st above your interest in dating their as a girlfriend, you’re in serious likelihood of getting directed into “friend region,” and that’s a painful place to escape from.

My personal guidance for your requirements is to find together with this lady and talk in person. It needs to be early in the day and reduced than a genuine go out, nonetheless it offers a notion if she desires see you or not. Tell the girl she needs to escape and take one hour to have a good laugh and enjoy by herself therefore would really love the chance to keep in touch with her in a bit more range, also. Choose a spot where your friends never ever get – possibly a Starbucks across town – so she’s going to feel as if the woman privacy is being shielded.

Ask the lady exactly how she is undertaking whenever she’s undoubtedly finished along with her ex. Pay really close attention to the woman gestures. Is she tilting closer or away? Is actually she big-eyed and smiling, or separated and thoughtful? Is actually she operating “girly” or like a buddy?

There is one more thing you must do: inform this lady in a very matter-of-fact method in which you love her. Next do not state another word. She’s got are another someone to talk. Hunt her directly in eyes so she will visit your energy along with your sincerity. Boldly and with confidence understand the woman shoulder or arms. Just make sure she knows you are searching for the woman in a romantic man-woman types of way.

Be powerful and kind but never ever emotional or eager. Make the lady need come your way for any nurturing and comfortable man you happen to be and never your great son who is “secure” and ordinary. Her correct thoughts and motives should display by themselves because the conversation unfolds.

Go for it,

Nick

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